Online Dating - Been There, Done That. Don't Recommend It.

Chewing out my kids is never a problem; I'm actually quite good at it. I'm actually quite good at chewing out my husband, too. I consider myself passionate about certain topics and when someone asks me for my opinion and viewpoint, be prepared for a biased and strong opine.

So -- a family member decided to get my viewpoint about online dating. Their assumption was because I have an ex who I met online back in 1996 that I may be sympathetic towards certain irresponsible behaviors. While I do have the "Been There, Done That" T-Shirt in a variety of colors, I do not recommend purchasing those shirts from personal experience but admire the shirts from afar as someone else wears them.

While online dating works for some, a person needs to make sure that safe actions are taken. I'm a stickler for online safety and strongly believe people should meet in public places and let someone else know where your are going, as well as checking in after you return home safely. Stupidity arises when you decide to provide your home address -- especially if you have young children living with you.

I can't control the actions of family members living in several states away. I can't even protect my children all the time when they are online no matter how much I want to. I will, however, give you my advice -- Don't compromise yourself or your child because you want a relationship that you can't handle. Don't give out your address. Don't invite this person into your home with your toddler child.

What makes you...

The last month has been a struggle for my sister as she is preparing for a mandatory departure from her uterus. It isn't by her choice that it needs to be removed (she shows signs of cervical cancer) albeit is her choice to have the doctor take the excess baggage out. Stories abound about the trauma the removal of a uterus - the loving and protective home of the unborn child - makes women feel. Does removing one's reproductive organs make them feel less of a woman? What about the woman who has breast cancer and has to have a radical mastectomy and now has a sunken chest? Is she any less a woman? In the real, literal sense of the question, yes, they are less a woman. They now have "less" parts so they do not have standard issued equipment. However, I am going to dispute the validity of parts making the person a woman.

Dedicated to my sister - With love, from Deborah Rachelle

Parts vs. Hearts
I once had an organ inside called a womb,
It was dark, round, protective like a tomb.
My babies were created inside with care,
But their precious life did not end there.
Which contributed more to life - my part or my heart?

God blessed me with breasts to nurture and nourish,
With daily love and care, my babies soon began to flourish.
Each day they grew stronger and needed me less,
But when trials came, I hugged them to my chest.
Which contributed more to their success - my part or my heart?

Through life's trials and challenges I lost their dad,
I thought all was gone but realized, this actually made me glad.
I looked forward to my life -- my hopes, my dreams,
But the men that were cute looked at my busted seams.
Who really wanted my body, my part or my heart?

I met a young man, who looked through my skin,
He saw me for me and the woman within.
Tattered and broken, I gave him my heart,
He took it and held it, cherished it from the start.
What did he relish, my part or my heart?

Parts give life and help feed the child,
Taming the beast, so they aren't so wild.
Hearts are for loving, for joy and for sorrow,
Take my parts today for I have my heart for tomorrow.
What do you need in this life to live? Not your part but your heart.