I am smarter than the average mom...

I tucked my son into bed tonight and he tried to kiss my neck with the "nom, nom, nom" sound. I dodged his kisses as it tickles too much but I was quick to quip, "I am smarter than the average mom!" This made me think, what is the average mom like?

The average mom makes homemade meals every night – from scratch. Just imagine macaroni and cheese made with elbow macaroni, gruyere and cheddar cheese, and crushed up potato chips on top, baked in the oven for an hour and half until the dish is bubbly and toasted to perfection. I guess the smarter mom buys Kraft's Cheesiest Macaroni and Cheese and spends 10 minutes making it so she can spend more time on Facebook.

The average mom spends an hour cleaning the bathroom by scrubbing the bathtub, cleaning the toilet bowl, wiping down the sides of the toilet, sanitizing the sink and counters, and mopping the floor. That does not even include the time spent shaking out the bathmats and washing the towels. I guess the smarter mom realizes germs are germs so why clean the bathroom.

The average mom taxis kids all about town for football, soccer, and drama. Play dates are scheduled weeks in advance and every sports and theater event is attended. I guess the smarter mom sweet talks her husband into driving everywhere because she does the grocery shopping (it takes so much time to plan those microwaveable dinners).

The average mom does laundry on Wednesdays and Saturdays. On Wednesday the bedding is washed and Saturday is spent ironing the dress shirts for the husband. I guess the smarter mom just buys new clothes so her time isn't wasted doing the laundry.

The average mom leaps over buildings in a single bound, dodges bullets, and stops trains. The smarter mom teleports, stops the bullets before they are discharged, and never boards the train. Yep, I am smarter than the average mom.